Angsting

So, I'm feeling a little down right now. Prepare yourself to be assaulted by my angsting. I haven't organized any of my thoughts here - topics are flowing naturally as I think about them. You have been warned.

For that matter, you don't really have to read this. I just thought I'd put it all down somewhere.

To start, I'm going to be shallow. I know that I have friends. Some of them have blogs. I read them. I know they know about mine. Yet they don't follow me. I also know they don't return my texts, or respond when I Instant Message them. They never return my calls, and it's like pulling teeth to get a real conversation out of them. What is a friend, really?

Last week I made a discovery. I realized that, for this first time since I've come to college, I'm happy with where I am. My classes aren't really that bad and I fit in with a group of friends that I love. Of course, only days after that things started to go downhill again. I can't say exactly what happened because of certain people following this blog who might be reading this, but I will say that I will most certainly tell you if you ask - unless you are that certain person.

My last blog was about this, but I feel like it needs to be said again. Music. Singing. Piano. Performance. I love them all. I brought my keyboard with me, but I'm too afraid to play it. I'm not that good, and I want to just sit down and play, not struggle through learning a piece. I want to sing. I want to sing with someone. It is so much more powerful than singing alone.

I'm not done, but this is getting long enough. Maybe I'll post more later.

Right now I'm listening to Jim being his usual close-minded self.