So Spring Break has finally started, and it's exactly how I imagined. I'm staying with a friends grandparents, and that's awkward, but they're house is homey and decorated all old-like just as I expected. I don't really know them, which is additionally awkward, but they're kind of nice yet set in their ways, also like I expected.

I'm pleasantly surprised that I'm not surprised by what I found.

Until Thursday I'm just biding my time here.

Sometime that afternoon my friend and I are driving up to see one of my friends, and then this break will really get awesome.

She has horses. I'm so looking forward to this.

Currently I'm listening to nothing. Besides a very LOUD bird that's probably going to keep me up all night.

I have two papers due tomorrow, the first in 13 hours, and I have yet to start on either of them. Procrastination at it's best. The good news is that I've accomplished just about everything else. Besides packing and cleaning my room. The two other important things that need to get done.

Now, for the interesting part.

I have no idea why people enjoy songs that make no sense. As in words or phrases that you don't even know what they mean. It's ridiculous. It doesn't mean the songwriter has some kind of deep insight into the world that we can't understand. It just means they were drunk or high or both when they wrote it and couldn't come up with something deep and entertaining, so they made up some stupid phrase.

Key word: Stupid

/endrant

I'm listening to Hetalia.

Jillian

Jillian was complaining that nobody had updated their blog for a while.

So I'm making a blog post just for her.

I hope you appreciate it.

Also, I have two and half papers to write by tomorrow morning. Kill me now.

Listening to conversations between some of my favorite people.

So, I haven't written anything yet today. I'm feeling a little guilty. So you get to hear about how the last two hours of my life went.

Or you would, if I felt like typing it out. I'm feeling good again, and I'd like to keep it like that.

Arlette told me today (or yesterday, I don't remember which) that we should jam out like the old days when she gets home. I wholeheartedly agree with that. What I don't agree with is her lack of not playing piano lately. It makes me sad.

What she doesn't know is that I will force her to play for me.

Or maybe she does know it. Whatever. As long as she plays, I'll be happy.

Currently I'm listening to the TV and having hilarious conversations with some of my favorite people.

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."

For the record, I hate Romeo and Juliet with a passion.

However, I can't deny that some of the words in this famous play are among the most romantic to ever be written.

Personally, things that get too romantic make me feel depressed. Not because I'm insane about getting a boyfriend or because I'm jealous of everyone in relationships.

Romantic songs, plays, poems, and movies make me depressed because there is no correct answer or right way to go about it. Everyone is different, and every relationship is different.

Some people have to be attached at the hip, while others enjoy their space and would kill each other if they spent every second of every day with their significant other.

Some people need the physical interactions in a relationship. They enjoy things like hand holding and cuddling. Some people are perfectly happy as long as their significant other is in the same room.

On this same note, there is also the debate about internet and long-distance relationships. Do they work? Can you really be happy when you only see your love every few weeks, months, or as long as a year? Can you actually love someone you've never met?

Is there such a thing as love at first sight? It's possible, if you're paying attention, to pinpoint a persons personality based on your first few moments of interaction if they are being true to themselves. So can you love someone you only know a little bit about?

In order to tackle this question, you need to first attempt to define love. Of course, this can't actually be done, but we can at least start to form some opinions based on the facts that are undebatable.

Is love a sure emotion? Or is it something that you can trick yourself into, knowing that this is a person you enjoy being around and could possibly spend the rest of your life with, simultaneously knowing that love is the emotion you know you're supposed to feel?

Are we so fascinated with idea of having someone "to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part" that we allow ourselves to be led into the idea of love?

Is love even real?

Every single person will answer these questions differently and approach their relationship in a unique way.

There is no right or wrong answer. 

Love is complicated.

To close, I'd just like to say that being a person who likes definites, yes-no answers, and white/black moralities, this bothers me. I can't completely explain it, but I feel that this is a fitting feeling to the equally complicated concept of love.

And the truth of the matter is that we, a society so obsessed with finding that special person that sometimes we completely block out everything else, will never be able to find an answer that everybody can agree on.

We won't even come close.

--------

During this post I've listened to Cascada and conversations with close friends.

Angsting

So, I'm feeling a little down right now. Prepare yourself to be assaulted by my angsting. I haven't organized any of my thoughts here - topics are flowing naturally as I think about them. You have been warned.

For that matter, you don't really have to read this. I just thought I'd put it all down somewhere.

To start, I'm going to be shallow. I know that I have friends. Some of them have blogs. I read them. I know they know about mine. Yet they don't follow me. I also know they don't return my texts, or respond when I Instant Message them. They never return my calls, and it's like pulling teeth to get a real conversation out of them. What is a friend, really?

Last week I made a discovery. I realized that, for this first time since I've come to college, I'm happy with where I am. My classes aren't really that bad and I fit in with a group of friends that I love. Of course, only days after that things started to go downhill again. I can't say exactly what happened because of certain people following this blog who might be reading this, but I will say that I will most certainly tell you if you ask - unless you are that certain person.

My last blog was about this, but I feel like it needs to be said again. Music. Singing. Piano. Performance. I love them all. I brought my keyboard with me, but I'm too afraid to play it. I'm not that good, and I want to just sit down and play, not struggle through learning a piece. I want to sing. I want to sing with someone. It is so much more powerful than singing alone.

I'm not done, but this is getting long enough. Maybe I'll post more later.

Right now I'm listening to Jim being his usual close-minded self.

Singing the Blues

I love to sing. Nothing makes me happier than harmonizing with someone I care about. My favorite people to sing with are my mother, who has beautiful voice, and Arlette.

For those of you who don't know Arlette, I graduated high school with her. We used to spend hours sitting around a piano or one of our keyboards and sing everything we could think of. It was wonderful. Sadly, she's been in the Philippines for almost two years ago. I miss her and her voice and her expert piano-playing hands. Even if her fingers do that funny double jointed thing.

I'm sure, in a college of 30,000 or so people, that there are plenty of people who can sing. Somewhere out there is someone whose voice will match perfectly with mine, and we could sit around the piano for hours singing everything we can think of, just like I used to do with Arlette.

I have yet to meet this person. In fact, I have yet to meet anyone that is willing to sing seriously with me. I don't mean someone to sit beside in church and sing along with the hymns, or spontaneous sing-alongs while we listen to music. I want to meet someone I can perform with. Someone who is serious about singing and has a voice to match mine.

I feel like I've gone on long enough, even though I'm definitely not done. Maybe I'll write a sequel soon. Get the rest of these thoughts out of my head. For now, be content in knowing that this is a vital piece of my life that is missing, and I'm slowly feeling the music depression sinking in.

Right now I am listening to some good ol' barbershop. Excellent harmonies.

Procrastination

Okay, I'm supposed to be writing my production paper, but I'm NOT. (What an insightful sentence, I know.) Basically I'm the worst at procrastination.

In other news, I'm off of contacts for a while. The trail pair has a tear and the new ones don't come in for two weeks. I'm a little frustrated at this - it's nice to not have to wipe off my glasses every time I walk in from the rain.

Other than that, there's not really much to say. I'm forcing myself to post so I don't quickly forget about this place. Because I will.

Turning on my white noise so I'll get motivated to write.

Day 1

Way too many of my friends have started blogs, so I feel like I should succumb to the pressure and start one myself. No clue what I'm going to do with it yet, or if I'll be any good at keeping up with it, but I'm optimistic.

Currently I'm listening to the Heritage Singers - my mom lent me a bunch of CD's to load onto my computer so I'm listening to a couple songs from each while I rip them. The best part? All her CD's are from the 90's. All of that good Christian music I haven't heard in forever.

On another note, I'm supposed to be writing a chapter for Dlvvanzor for our story. I've been procrastinating this for weeks and she's probably wondering if I still exist. I should probably do that. Now, while I have inspiration.